It was a crisp March evening in 2025 when Bernie Sanders, that crusty old socialist fuck, got his wrinkly mitts on a massive box of Ultra Boner Pills Viagra Max. The delivery guy didn’t even knock—just yeeted that shit onto his porch and bolted, probably scared of Bernie’s wild-eyed grin as he ripped the package open like a kid on Christmas morning. “Holy fucking shit,” Bernie cackled, popping three pills right there, “time to unleash the beast!”
Within minutes, his saggy old man pants were straining against a goddamn monster cock, throbbing like a jackhammer on steroids. Bernie didn’t waste time—he grabbed his keys, adjusted his raging boner, and peeled out in his beat-up Prius, headed straight for the seediest gay bathhouse in town: Steamworks, or as the locals called it, “Pete Buttplug’s Fuck Palace.
Pete Buttigieg was there, naturally, strutting around in nothing but a leather thong, his smug little mayor face glistening with sweat and lube. “Well, well, Senator Sanders,” Pete smirked, “what brings your commie ass here?” Bernie didn’t even answer—just dropped his pants, revealing a veiny, pulsating dick so big it looked like it could vote in the next election. Pete’s eyes widened. “Fuck me,” he whispered. “Oh, I will, you little twink bitch,” Bernie roared, diving in.
What followed was a goddamn anal rampage. Bernie plowed Pete like a freight train through a tunnel, no condom, no mercy—just raw, sweaty, socialist fury. Pete was screaming, “Yes, redistribute that dick, Daddy!” as Bernie fucked him into next Tuesday. The bathhouse turned into a fuckin’ orgy pit—guys cheering, jacking off, and slipping in puddles of lube as Bernie’s Viagra-fueled tear raged on. He was a one-man wrecking crew, ass after ass, grunting shit like, “This is for the 1%, motherfuckers!”
But then, out of nowhere, Michelle Obama stormed in, buck naked and swinging the biggest goddamn cock anyone had ever seen—like a fuckin’ ebony baseball bat with a pulse. “Bernie, you old bastard,” she bellowed, “you think you’re the only one packing heat?” Bernie turned, his dripping boner still rock-hard, and grinned like a maniac. “Bring it, Big Mike!”
What happened next was legendary: a cock-sword fight for the ages. Their massive dicks clashed like fuckin’ lightsabers—Bernie’s gnarled old man meat versus Michelle’s sleek, girthy monster. Sparks flew (not literally, you sick fuck, but close enough). Michelle swung low, Bernie parried high, and the crowd lost their shit as these two titans dueled, balls slapping like thunderclaps. “Feel the Bern, bitch!” Bernie yelled, landing a solid thwack on Michelle’s shaft. She laughed, “I’ve fucked bigger dicks than you in my sleep!” It ended in a draw when they both nutted so hard the ceiling cracked.
Exhausted but still horny as fuck, Bernie stumbled out of the bathhouse, his dick dripping and his heart racing. That’s when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez rolled up in her Tesla, tight shirt barely containing her tits, looking eager as hell. “Bernie, you dirty old fuck,” she purred, “I heard you’re packing Viagra Max heat.” Bernie grinned, “Get that spicy little ass over here, AOC.”
They didn’t even make it inside. Right there in the parking lot, Bernie bent her over the hood and went to town. His massive, pulsating boner shredded her tight Latina ass so bad it bled like a fuckin’ horror movie—red rivers running down her thighs as she screamed, “Fuck yes, Bern! Nationalize my pussy!” He pounded her raw, no rubber, just primal, sweaty chaos. Her ass was a goddamn war zone by the time he blew his load, a geyser of old-man jizz that painted the Tesla white.
The next day, high off the thrill and probably still hard, Bernie proposed. “AOC, you’ve got the tightest ass in Congress—marry me, you little spic minx.” She said yes, mostly because her shredded butthole needed a sugar daddy to pay the medical bills. They tied the knot in a quickie ceremony, Pete Buttplug officiating with a limp and a smile, while Michelle Obama toasted them with a dick-pic selfie.
And so, Bernie Sanders, the Viagra Max King, lived happily ever after, fucking his way through DC with AOC on his arm and a cock that could start a revolution. The end, you filthy degenerate.
