Matt, Amani, and Any are the messiest throuple in 90 Day Fiancé history, living in a San Diego trailer park that smells like regret and burnt dreams. Matt’s got a chip on his shoulder the size of a goddamn boulder because Any’s packing a monster cock—over a foot long, thicker than a beer can, like a fucking fire hydrant swinging between her legs. Amani can’t get enough of it, screaming Any’s name loud enough to wake the neighbors while Matt’s pathetic half-inch nub gets ignored like a stale bagel. Matt’s so jealous he’s been chain-smoking meth and crack to cope, his eyes bugging out like a tweaked-out raccoon. To boost his ego and score some cash, he’s been selling his bony ass to Pakistani hookers down at the docks, whispering to himself that his tiny dick looks “fucking majestic” next to theirs. But the real kicker? Amani and Any are so in love they’re planning a porno called “Throuple Trouble: Big Dick Edition,” leaving Matt to sulk in the corner, muttering homophobic slurs while secretly wondering why he kinda liked sucking Kenny’s dick during their group sesh with those Mexican studs, Kenny and Armando, last week

.The fights in this throuple are nastier than a porta-potty at a chili cook-off. Matt’s always screaming, “Fuck you, Any, your cock’s a freakshow!” while Amani cackles, “At least she’s got one, you limp-dick loser!” The tension exploded when they hooked up with Kenny and Armando, two ripped dudes from Tijuana who joined for a sweaty, tequila-fueled orgy. Amani was all over Kenny, moaning louder than a busted muffler, which sent Matt into a rage. He threw a punch at Kenny, screaming, “I ain’t no fucking queer!”—ironic, since he was caught with Kenny’s dick in his mouth days earlier, claiming it was “just a dare.” Meanwhile, Matt’s been dodging the law after getting busted selling crack at the local homeless shelter again, facing a prison stretch that’ll make his ass-clenching nights with the hookers seem like a vacation. Amani and Any don’t give a shit—they’re too busy filming their porno and planning to ditch Matt for good, leaving him to stew in his own toxic, self-hating, micro-dick misery.