The Kansas City Royals, being the goddamn faggot-ass franchise they are in that fag-infested shithole of a city, were losing their asses off and needed some top-tier queers to turn things around. So, they roped in the biggest cock-sucking fags they could find—David Schwimmer, that washed-up Friends prick who moonlights as an ex-gay porn star, and his former butt-buddy Pete Buttigieg. The Royals’ head scout, a thirsty bastard himself, stumbled upon these two queens while prowling a gay bar, looking to suck some dick with his already limp-wristed pitching rotation. It’s no surprise they’re a circus of gay shit now, especially since Bernie Sanders, that old commie fuck, owns a chunk of the team and has them all guzzling cum from used condoms like it’s a post-game ritual.
To top it off, the Royals love flaunting their rainbow credentials by stacking the roster with gay niggers like Don Lemon and Snoop Dogg, because apparently, they’re too progressive to be racist—bullshit or not, it’s their twisted narrative. These assholes strut around the ballpark in their glittery uniforms, laughing their asses off with Schwimmer wielding a goddamn pickle instead of a bat, while the stands are packed with flamboyant fans waving LGBT flags like it’s a pride parade. The opposing Detroit Tigers, dressed in frilly dresses, don’t stand a chance against this cockamamie crew, Just a complete bunch of useless faggots. All usually at the Gay Bar bending over in the showers. Thinking about Anderson Coopers old saggy balls in their faggot mouths.
