A hardcore self proclaimed gay rapper named Jared Fields was recently apprehended, after he reportedly climbed a Las Vegas traffic light, dropped his MC Hammer Cargo pants and defecated on cars passing below while rapping “Fuck The Police”. Both police and animal control were called the scene, and a KFC chicken drumstick was used to bring the man back down to the ground so he could quickly call Jesse Jackson. But only after he had a Grape Soda. The racist police hosed Jared’s ass down with fire hoses and bleach for about an hour while laughing, drinking beer, smoking crack they stole off black people earlier, and high fiving each other.

Authorities made sure to cover their own tracks by stating that Jared was high on crystal meth and marijuana at the time, so any story he claims of the cops hurting him or gang raping him are false. All the bruises are from when he fell down 30 flights of stairs, 20 times.

Which just makes the story even more incredible is that Jared was also smoking crack out of his cats ass to make videos for Youtube. Fuck people are sick especially Jared and his gay lover Izzy who Jared is very jealous of due to their very large penis. Izzy got voted out and she shit her pants while she was sitting in a stoll. I bet a big brown greenish skid mark still exists in her Kmart granny panties. Since Izzy left big brother she lost her job at Vagisel and lives on the streets smoking meth and heroin with her boyfriend two bag Pete.