Gino from 90 Day Fiancé is a total faggot with AIDS who’s now apparently the genius mastermind behind the Manpawn—the world’s first men’s tampon. Yeah, you heard that right. This walking disaster started the company with a bunch of his old gay lovers, the same crack-smoking crew that used to party with Bernie Sanders and Pete Buttplug. Picture it: these degenerates blazing crack, having full-on gay orgies on luxury yachts secretly funded by the Biden Administration. All that cash was supposed to go to cancer research, but you know how it is with liberals and Democrats—they think people dying of cancer is hilarious. They’d rather divert the money to Africans and Indians so they can blow it on dumb shit and cackle at hardworking white folks who actually build and invent everything worth a damn in this country. Anyway, Gino was burning through money on crack, hookers, and whatever else faster than Pete Buttplug could invent new tax scams to steal more of it.

So one day, mid-buttsex, Gino and Pete had their eureka moment: why not make a tampon for men that plugs up not just the blood flow, but the poop leakage too? Boom—the Manpawn was born. It flew off the shelves to every tranny and PWHL fan in existence, especially that “elbows up” crowd in Canada. Those hosers can’t get enough of jamming Manpawns up their bumholes; it’s practically a national pastime now. To celebrate their brand-new financial freedom and all this woke glory, Gino, Pete Buttplug, and Bernie Sanders headed to a farm for the ultimate victory lap: raw anal with every cow, sheep, and chicken in sight. They even invited Colt Johnson, Big Ed, and Usman along to spectate and handle cleanup duty. Usman licked every drop off the dirt floor like it was frosting, while Colt and Big Ed slurped it up through straws like it was a milkshake. Good times were had by all. Moral of the story? Look both ways before you cross the street, and never—ever—eat the yellow snow.